Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
