youre lurking in front of me
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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