The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
