Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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