Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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