i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
