she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
