Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
handjob tips. give me some.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
