Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
