You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
