I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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