FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
