Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The air taste purple.
Randomize
