Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
