i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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