Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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