Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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