haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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