these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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