I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
