Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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