But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
