My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think a kid would responsible me up
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
