he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
