I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
