winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
