She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
