farters have to be the big spoon...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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