My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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