I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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