Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
