he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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