when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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