Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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