Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
