your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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