how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she told me i tasted like america
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
