I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
