I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
only if we run a train.
done.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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