Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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