Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
