Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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