Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
sex in a hospital.. check
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
