so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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