My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
