She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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