it hurts more in the daytime
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
