well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
honey bunches of taint.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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