Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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