We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
And then my night got REAL pukey
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
