I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
